What Matters & Showing Up For Yourself

Apr 28

It’s crunch time as we near the broker’s tour, pre-listing event and hitting mls. And it’s all coming down on me like a landslide. I’ve been an emotional roller coaster with every single moment accounted for. My assistant and I were working on client scheduling last week and couldn’t find a single day in the next couple weeks to complete a full project. Between the custody schedule (my kids come first and I will always pick them up from school), school activities, graduation festivities (my 8th grader graduates at the end of May), my sister’s wedding mid-May, and more…deep breath. I’ll get to everyone…at some point…I promise. But not right away.

My real estate agent emailed a timeline the other day and I literally opened it, then promptly snapped my laptop closed. I couldn’t see another deadline, date or to-do in my face in that moment.

You guys know me pretty well – I’m a doer, go-goetter, don’t say noer type. I’m super strong, determined, focused and will see it all through to the end. I’m not aiming for perfection with this list of improvements – not even close. Just trying to see it all through – beautifully – and to the end. And I’m just not ever going to change. That trait, whether good or bad, is deeply rooted.

But fact is everyone has their limits AND their breaking points. Safe to say, I’m pretty much there. Am realizing it’s more important than ever to keep all of this in perspective AND schedule in time for myself. Whether that time is going to the gym or watching a movie with the kids or making dinner / trying new recipes with special people I love…I NEED TO SHOW UP FOR MYSELF. Now.

Since the stager came to consult a couple weeks ago, I’ve been selling items she didn’t want in the house…and they were items I didn’t love anyway. I had a bar / side buffet in my kitchen that was outdated and not something I particularly loved. Someone came to buy it yesterday so I emptied the contents onto my kitchen table…

Last night after the kids and I had dinner, and they were all doing something to occupy themselves, I figured I’d pack a few boxes to clear the kitchen table. I made it through a whopping ONE box…

I didn’t have it in me.

This is the norm when your house goes on the market, but the stager requested that all personal items be removed from the shelves, cabinets, walls, etc. That includes photos of the kids, family members, memorabilia, etc. You can imagine the wave of emotions that hit me when having to remove these from the wall…

These from the china cabinet…

And these from a kitchen shelf…

All I could think about and hope for is that I am showing up for these 3 little people in every move and decision I make. I hope one day they realize the depths of my love for them and how I have always wanted BETTER for them. Moving out of this house is going to be brutal…but it means a new chapter, new beginnings and a new BETTER.

And I know my Grandma is shining a light on that path for us. I think about her wisdom all the time and hope I’m showing up for her too.

I found this childhood photo of me a few weeks ago when boxing up albums…

I need to show up for that little girl too.

Even if it’s in small ways.

Around every turn in the house there are reminders to keep this in perspective. Through the chaos of the improvements, Natalie has found a way to continue playing with her stuffed animals and baby dolls. This girl and her little spirit crush me. So sweet and tender and don’t want to lose out on a single moment left of her imagination phase. She loves stuffed animals, taking care of her babies and reading books and it totally melts me. As I was going to bed the other night I passed her playroom table to see this precious scene…

She is so smart and creative…

Using one of her baby blankets my friend Annette made for her as tablecloth, she set up a tea / book reading party…

If you look closely, the baby is propped up with a few books. Kills me!

And I am so glad I had my blinders off that night so I didn’t miss this. I could have easily walked past the table, sleepy eyed and headed up the stairs to bed. But for some reason I took a moment to look at the playroom and noticed the table. I need to keep my eyes open and enjoy these little moments.

In other “enjoying the little things”, there’s this guy…

Who is always here waiting for us when we pull up the driveway. Always here to greet us – even if it’s with something he’s killed. He’s been completely out of sorts with the home updates, workers in and around the house, furniture and home items moving constantly, loud noises, and his kids being gone a couple days a week. He is very connected to them. When I’m here alone, it’s been really nice having him around. As soon as I pull in and open the car door, he hops into the truck and lays / sleeps on the dashboard or in the trunk.

We cherish him tremendously.

And I’m enjoying watching the projects / vision become reality. This is the current state of the front porch and I couldn’t be more happy with how it’s coming together!…

( mat | rug | lanterns )

Love the door color and my 2 front porch mats arrived as well. In love with them and those are definitely coming with me – sorry to the new homeowners. Both are from Mcgee & Co.

(Side note and speaking of McGee…I consulted with a new family on Friday and I literally walked into the Studio McGee website. Holy moly – can’t wait to share these stunning organization projects. Feeling SO grateful!)

I know I’m not the only one struggling through something significant…so if you are reading and nodding in agreement to a few things I’ve said, don’t forget about what matters. And make sure YOU are on that list. Show up for you – even in the small ways. I’m showing up for me by making the gym a priority – even if for only 30 minutes. I’m opening my eyes and taking the blinders off to enjoy the small moments / memories. I’m giving myself a break by not filling every last second with a chore or task. Last night I gave up packing boxes after 1 box because I wasn’t there physically or emotionally. I recognized that and I listened to myself. My body needed a break. Instead I curled up with Natalie to watch a movie…and listened to my boys playing together happily most of the night.

Show up for yourself!

QUICK HOME UPDATE

There is a lot coming up this week and hope to share as much as possible. But here’s a quick rundown of the biggies…

  • kitchen counters are in and look amazing! (photos soon)
  • old master bathroom shower gets a facelift Monday and Tuesday this week
  • stager comes on Tuesday
  • small fixes / handyman work is going on
  • on Friday a storage POD is being dropped in my driveway – I’ll be decluttering and packing / thinning the house contents next weekend
  • organization is getting dialed in big time to every space and drawer
  • we are hosting a pre-event party the week of May 6 – stay tuned for more info on that
  • broker’s tour is week of May 6
  • first open house is Mother’s Day weekend

Deep breath.

Thanks for reading guys and hope you’ve been enjoying your weekend! Back soon with more!

xx,

Sam

comments +

  1. gee dodds says:

    Wishing you strength for the next few weeks. You will achieve all you want. One thing I’m sure of is that your three gorgeous children hit the jackpot with you as their mom! ????????

  2. Thinking of you as you go through all that you have to do these upcoming weeks. I think back to how chaotic my life was after my divorce & selling the house. You are amazing that you are able to go through the renovations, work, pack up the house, etc, etc, etc, and still manage to write about it.

    I just think back to my adventure in selling a house that I thought I would be staying in longer than I did. It’s so mind blowing it happened almost 12 years ago. Time flies faster than we think & I realized the older I get, the faster time flies.

    One of my favorite Seinfeld quotes about keeping it together:

    Serenity Now.
    Insanity Later.

  3. Caitlin says:

    just a big freaking internet hug 🙂

  4. Malaika says:

    Sam,
    First off big hug to you! I’ve been such a big fan and you are one of the very first people I found inspiration from to start my organizing business.

    You are amazing,you have inspired me through this post to take charge of my personal life which for a few months has been in shambles which ofcourse like a domino effect, has spilled over to my business..or lack thereof(insert lack of motivation and losing sight of why I started?
    I’m going through a very difficult,draining separation but tonight your strength and perseverance coming through this post is so moving and has given me an extra push to put on my big girl panties and PUSH THROUGH.

    Thank you for inspiring us all,God’s speed as you get through to the other side and make new beautiful memories with your beautiful children.

    You are beautiful, keep on being strong because you just never know who else out there you are inspiring to pick up the pieces and LIVE LIFE BEAUTIFULLY NO MATTER!!

    • Samantha says:

      Oh my gosh – what an incredible, sweet and touching comment! Thank you! Sincerely.

      It means so much to hear that by just sharing / writing has been an inspiration to you personally and professionally…and now this post has given you the motivation to keep going and push through. It’s readers and people like you who help ME keep going. It’s not easy, trust me. Most days I am hanging from a thread and I’ve been falling to pieces a lot (hoping this passes soon). But I’m going to keep being vulnerable and sharing here…because of this exact comment.

      Thank you so much for your sweet sweet comment – truly!
      xx,
      Sam

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